Our family hasn't experienced the loss of a loved one in military service (at least in current memory), so our Memorial Day observances have mostly been centered on remembering our fathers and other relatives who now reside in cemeteries from Portland (OR) to Nocona (TX). My father, as well as my husband's father, served in the Navy, so of course we honor their service along with our tributes to soldiers unknown to us. But as far as being able to name anyone who made the ultimate sacrifice in military service, we have been "lucky." For our family, Memorial Day has always meant cookouts, an extra day of rest, and the unofficial beginning of summer.
This year, however, I wanted to instill more meaning into this "day of remembering" and take some time to show our mothers that we haven't forgotten our fathers - as well as those other loved-ones who've gone ahead of us in death. My own beliefs about death have made it unnecessary (for me, anyway) to "visit" my Dad at the cemetery (because to my mind, he's not there), but to my mother it's important to "remember" him by placing flowers or a wreath at his gravesite on special occasions, such as Memorial Day. My husband's mother also observes occasions at the little country cemetery where my father-in-law is buried, but recently hasn't been physically able to make the trip across the rough pasture-land of the very old Longbranch Cemetery in her little home town 1 1/2 NW of Fort Worth.
So this year, we trekked up to Nocona for a short day-visit. We took Frances out to the old cemetery and laid the wreath I made at the gravesite for Kevin's dad, then walked around looking at all the old headstones that have been crumbling since the late 1800's. (One year, we got a group of families together and did some extensive work on some of the most fragile stones - using a car jack to level them then filling-in so that they might have another 50 years or so of standing upright. Kevin's father was still alive then, and we have photos of them working on the old headstones together - and some nice memories of the picnic in the cemetery that day.)
My father is buried at the Moore Memorial Gardens in Arlington (Texas), near the newer section which is reserved for military burials (I believe it's part of the "National Cemetery" system). This cemetery is modern and all of the headstones are set flush to the ground (so that the grounds can be mowed without having to go around all the headstones). They are observing the Memorial Day holiday with a special service this afternoon, so we're planning on taking the second wreath (I made two) and place it on my dad's grave in time for the military color guard. We'll be doing this without my mom, though, because she's in Oklahoma on a casino trip....good for her! She already made her tribute on Saturday (while we were in Nocona), so just knowing that we'll be representing the family this afternoon was comforting to her when I told her what our plans were. I think both of our moms just want their kids to remember their dad - especially on holidays and birthdays - so we say we're doing this for them. But, in fact, I'm beginning to learn that "remembering" is a learned skill....one that takes discipline (it would be so much easier to lay around the pool for a three-day weekend), but instills respect for our nation's heritage, as well as our own family legacies. I wish we'd done more of this while our girls were young, but I guess it's never too late.
So my personal creative contribution was making a couple of small-ish wreaths. I found some nice "silk" palm wreaths at Joann's - 2/$10 (what a deal!) - and wired some red, white and blue flowers (also silk) with red and blue sheer ribbon bows. The wire easels were just a couple of dollars each, so the whole wreath was around $10 (I would have paid $60 for these if I'd ordered them from a florist - and it means so much more to have made them myself). Pics will follow...
I hope all my friends and family enjoy their long weekend, and take a little time to...remember.
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